The price of Sexual liberation … to Teenagers .. #Shhhh the kids are NOT asleep

sex revolution

I am invited to talk about #TeenPregnancy this coming week, and in my planning I was really scratching my head on what approach I should have. I usually prefer an audience that has both young girls and young boys, because I vehemently believe that we can no longer address girls only on how-to-not-fall-pregnant then leave the boys out as if they are not the seed bearers.

So in my planning a thought dropped in my head: sexual liberation, sexuality & modernity also known as sexual revolution.

In the past few weeks I have been reading a lot about sexual liberation that females are demanding in terms of sex.

The urban dictionary’s definition is as follows:

Sexually Liberated – The ideology of one shamelessly and often satisfying their sexual needs and desires without the burden of guilt or the judgment of established morally-correct societal mores. One who, when horny, has no qualms finding someone(s) to break him/her off proper – preferably many, many times over! This applies equally to women as it does men, and often, the gender of the sexual partner is moot as long as orgasm is achieved. There is usually mutual sexual desire/tension and neither party has expectations of future encounters, though should they present themselves, they are rarely declined.

Wikipedia’s definition:

The sexual revolution, also known as a time of sexual liberation, was a social movement that challenged traditional codes of behavior related to sexuality and interpersonal relationships throughout the Western world from the 1960s to the 1980s.[1] Sexual liberation included increased acceptance of sex outside of traditional heterosexual, monogamous relationships (primarily marriage).[2] The normalization of contraception and the pillpublic nuditypremarital sexhomosexuality and alternative forms of sexuality, and the legalization of abortion all followed.

With the sexual revolution, house sex parties, at teenager level, also increases; with booze weed and all sorts of so-called recreational substances that have added more to the societal pressures than just the guise of recreation.

sex-talk-kids-know-more

When I was young, when grown-ups had certain conversations, we as kids were asked to go to another room or go outside and play as grown-ups were talking. We were never allowed into such conversations. Now with the prevalence of social media everything or information or conversations are open to all teenagers, BUT we are not checking how teens receive the information they consume. With us growth ups constantly fighting for the non-judgemental right to sleep with whomever we may want to sleep with, including sleeping with the kids under the guise of “ben 10nism” to “sugar daddy-ism”; Is it not perhaps time that we start addressing the growth ups about the scourge of teen pregnancy? Is it also not time we educate the teenagers about what this sexual liberation truly is, where this notion comes from and how they can exercise their so-called rights in a way that will not harm nor derail their own lives and their development.

But then .. if we as grown ups seem to be struggling with the same sexual liberation, do we really expect kids to win?

Grown-ups it is time to join the conversation! What are your kids overhearing you say? And what do they see you do?

I once asked a question on my Facebook timeline: why do parents still find it so hard to talk to their kids are sex, in 2015 with such an assumed sense of sexual openness. One person said maybe it is because the parents themselves may be doing the very same things. Ouch!

And then do we address oral sex when we do the sex talk or thats not important as we dont want to give them ideas? when a USA study was it showed that teens chose oral sex and yet we all know the STIs also linked hygiene & oral sex .. so sithini ke bazali xa kunje? But then what is the healthiest ways for teens to explore their sexuality without us as grown up policing everything??

oral sex n kids

For now I will do my best to address this issue with your teens, at the schools that I have access to me by invitation.. BUT all my talks will be futile if I as the parents at home are sleeping with 10 different sexual partners in one week, in my home in front of my kids, without explaining to them what it all means. May be the instead of damning the kids alone in this scourge of teen pregnancy, lets also ask ourselves important questions.

Written by Nomveliso kaMbanga kaNguta also known as a Teencooach and also running around the country calling herself First Lady VNN 🙂

A short letter to a refugee woman … #TeenPowerBlogEntry

Dear Female ‘fugee

I got your letter in the delayed developing world yesterday. You said you needed me now more than ever? Your masters sought a cure for Ebola quicker than an opportunity for me, and honestly, it made me feel mediocre.

I hear you’re on a journey? How do you manage it with such weight in your heart and a stomach echoing the meals of last week. I’m sorry to hear about your home. If it’s any consolation, mine has been burnt too. My theory now just embers under the blanketed ash covering the rest of the poverty basin you’re so familiar with.

I know your feet are mapping trails of distress in the sand, tracing tears and fears in your efforts to achieve something close enough to me, in a sense, a world where there is more to life than to flee.

feet

You said you have no country. No anthem monotonously falling off your lips, no flag dancing to the rhythm of a wind singing Viva! You have left your home before I could even see it. You will have to take me there some day.

I’m sure by now your feet are tired. Calluses flourishing beneath your waiting weight, as you’ve crossed borders of abuse and discrimination, only to be met with more fists firmly fighting, because apparently your arrival was unfair.

You asked me whether refuge will become like love, which is more than just a verb, yet underated and overused. I don’t know, dear female fugee. I don’t know how black lives still don’t matter, or how you still get taught that to provoke a man wise enough to walk leads rightfully to him manipulating your temple as he so pleases.

I don’t know whether the world will wake from this ominous,self-indulgent slumber, where a baby too young to count to four had to be carried in on the oceans arms before turning the heads of only three. I cannot say whether this world will realise that the same seriousness taken to tribute king Cecil was always owed tenfold to Syria, Congo, Zimbabwe, Gaza and the First Nations Genocide of ’88.

Mother…you carry nations within the constellation of your genetic melody. I apologise that I have not woven myself intricately into that, as I should have added scores more,creating harmony as only I can. Forgive me for my absence in the carbohydrated imports, sent to excuse those who have exploited your diamonds in return for dry rice.

I write this, while being imprisoned in their bank accounts, big enough to house your continent twice over.

I do hope to hear from you soon, at the earliest convenience of humanity and those who still believe in it.

Yours Sincerely,

Freedom

**Written by Courtney Koopman, 18yrs, TeenPower blogger**

The hysteria .. being a female startup entrepreneur ..

I have sooooo much work to do, but guess what I am doing. Nothing. Zilch. Tried quieting my mind, but nope not working. So much to do, so little time and the brand is growing well …yet a lot of imbalances too.

I have just completed a year as a startup and it was riddled with building a foundation and putting system ps in place and now things are growing steadily and my products are getting out there and my achievements or successes of my previous mentees are shooting up, giving me a pat in the back in terms of some approaches I had tried.

One of thee biggest challenges is getting rid on the employee mentality, so today I was signing up for an executive programme. I was filling up a form and had to choose a title then OMG it hit me: I DID IT …I truly own my own business!!!

Then I thought OMW, I need to go out more to represent my business, so how am I going to handle sexual innuendos that are said to be pushed at female entrepreneurs when they seek business clients, will I swear at swear or will I kick whatever guy inbetween his whatehat or will I just turn and walk away. What will be my stand? How will I ensure I remain feminine yet a strong black woman who is not apologetic about my decisions and position? Then I thought wait a minute …wait a minute..what if I don’t measure up to these titles I have given myself: Founder, Managaing Director, CEO, Snr manager ..then I went like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh mtrinity, but there is no going back now!!! No plan B here, DO or DIE and hold integrity very close to my heart and admit when I get bad days and move on!

I switched my phone off, switched my emails off and put up this image below on my facebook profile and watched Being MaryJane ..

I kind of figure this feeling maybe like PMS ..it will fiddle away in a few hours and I go back to my go-get-your-business-girl mood!

One thing is for sure, I am not longer an employee, and the employee-mentality has got to fall!

“I am every woman its all in me”!

**opens a new back of fireballs and munches away the time till my 4pm meeting**

Written by Nomveliso kaMbanga kaNguta

IMG_7390.JPG