Book over coffee, juice and heart .. .. #AloneTalks

I have just finished 12months since I quit my job and became a startup entrepreneur ..and what a befitting session to attend that coincided with this milestone.

She wrote a book, a memoir of her life, published it and shared it with the world. Then I think she realised she could do so much more, so she created a platform to not only disucss the book but other socially relevant topics pertinent to our world. The book titled Alone by Lebo Pule.

Conversation is thee most under utilised facet of our existence, we ruin things by talking and there is a saying that says that only talking can fix those same things. So in the talk I attended we read Chapter 1 of the book #Alone. Which covered interesting topics from having a child at 16, the behind the scene action of giving names to kids and it also talks about her embrace of darkness. We then shared our own experiences and took the conversation around each and everyone of our lives (you almost have to be in the to grasp the profound interaction, to deep to mention here). The group was small and intimate and added a warm comfortability to having conversations without being scared of our vulnerability, seeing we were almost strangers.

If I were to summarise the session I would say we embraced the notion of solitude, self reflection and not being afraid of life’s breaking points. Where life can be so challenging that it forces you to solitude, to a literal place of not switching on the lights and switching off external noises like TV, plus taking some time alone. An analogy that Lebo mentioned was that even seeds go underemath into the growth, in darkness before a beautiful flower springs out into the light; that even babies spend time being formed into the womb before they come out into light. That it is ok to allow ourself to break now and then, so that a new life or new strength can be formed in us. Lebo also alluded to another reality that we sometimes dim our lights so that we minimise who we are to fit in to what is normal …in a way I think I got my own permission to no longer dim my own light, but also to be mindful of time / timing as even that works out perfectly in its own time, as long as one is self aware.

I am so glad I attended, and I hope life wont be so busy that I miss next sessions as such conversation and platforms are too valuable for words.

Get the book, read the chapter and reflect on where you are currently in your life. Attend the live talk session, challenge yourself out of your own comfort zone. There is so much power in human interaction.

As the last line of the book reads, I too say it “I am no longer alone”

P.S we also spoke about teen pregnancy, as my field I gained so much insight for the work I do with teens .. I will blog about this soon, once the words find me 🙂

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Dear absent father .. I beg you … I plead with you .. ndiyakucenga ngentliziyo yam YONKE <3

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Dear absent father ..

Do you wanna know one of the reasons the mother of your child sometimes is a crazy raging lunatic in your eyes and horrible drama queen .. its partly because it is hard to be a parent …while you have the luxury of “escape” ..she doesn’t.

We could say all sorts of things like ‘yeah she can behavior better & be the better one’ etc etc and sound all philosophical ..

BUT …

Imagine how it must feel like to be woken up by a crying child from sickness you have no clue of, at the wee hours of the morning, with no car & no medical aid and fearing the death or loss of the one child that gives you sanity …while the father, you, drives around in your fancy car driving from club to club & posting images of a fun life on social media .. and guess what? the child maybe sick from a family illness that they got from your side of the family BUT you were never there to inform the mother.

Imagine a teenager who gives his mother such drama and misbehavior because this teen doesn’t know how to tell their mother they just want to know how their father looks like. All their minds want to have is just an image of how their looks like at least! They want to know if they inherited YOUR frown, if they laugh like YOU, if they walk like YOU, if the lines in their hands are similar to YOUrs and if care about their existence.

I know sometimes you think the mother of your child wants money all the time …

Well money means nothing in comparison to what she has to do everyday ..so that you can say to your friends: I have a child!

So I plead with you and I whisper in you heart, please make contact. Even if your child pushes you away at first … please do not give up. You need your child the same way they need you too!

I speak love into your heart … no … I speak the resurrection of a strong love in your heart, one that will give you the courage to make that connection!

I wish you love!

P.s. So why do I care? … because I care about the children of this country and if we say it takes a village to raise a child, then it starts at home. You don’t have to stay with your child full-time to be a good parent. You just need to show up when and where it counts the most!

Written by Nomveliso kaMbanga kaNguta, sometimes I am a #Fatherhood whisperer ❤

About a Mayine old lady & my Xitsonga speaking guardian angel <3

I had a trip to Benoni this week, to speak at a school one of my Teens invited me at. My cab driver was an elderly woman in her mid 60s but feisty as ever with a golden heart. In our small talk she mentioned the coming summer and how weak this years’ winter was, but then she said something I found quite profound. She said “summer will not come until it rains, kufuneka INE imvula kuqala”

This was so profound to me because of my “Mayine” principles and also that my business is named as such too and she did not know all this.

Now this totally preached to me a message in my heart that was very timely, that sometimes RAIN is necessary before great outcomes. Then I quickly reflected on the past few months in this journey and how tough things have been and this seemed to preach that: before an awesome summer starts, rain first appears to not only water the ground in preparations for whatever has been planted in it – so it grows healthy but also rain is good at washing the air from any toxicity and also this RAIN also symbolises a transition from one season to another. So next time you hear or see me write MAYINE ..this is what I am talking about ..

So MAYINE iintsikelelo …nako konke okulungileyo ..

Then on the same day I travelled to Soshanguve koBlock G to meet up a team that runs a youth organisation team. I was not aware that Sosha was that far so I travelled a bit late which meant travelling back late to Joburg. I got off at Noord a bit dark and had to walk to Bree taxi rank. Now I have my township tricks on how to walk in the dark so I am seldom afraid although I try not to travel at night if I can. Some boy tried to sell me some foolish thing and I managed to shoosh him off though he was persistent, a few feet later a lady who spoke to me in Xitsonga tried to make conversation, I could pick up a few words & greeted back & laughed at the areas I didnt get so well and I heard her mention we were on the same taxi …I had not noticed ..she laughed and went her way and dissappeared into the night; but because she was walking slightly behind me as she spoke, I had to turn my head ..and I realised later she was also trying to tell me my bag was open …in my back pack I had my iPad and handbag and it was gaping wide open …now I do everything in my iPad and I mean EVERY thing including planning for my work.

So that day I realised my guardian angels speak all sorts of African languages …and this day I met my one who spoke Xitsonga ….had she not spoken to me I wouldn’t have noticed my bag was open ..so that boy who was selling me stuff may have had someone opening my bag .. But she, my guardian angel, was right behind me too!

So who said guardian angels speak only english ❤️❤️❤️

I am safe and well taken care of!

MAYINE!!!!

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Babies who rape or kill other babies ..

It is not new, and thats what makes it so sad and so bad. The difference now is that thanks to social media a lot of the news that happen in our communities get to our eyes and ears quicker.

We have to let go of the inherited practise of sweeping things under the carpet, it didnt work because it meant no one paid up to the consequences and kids ended up emulating bad behaviour.

We know also that in our communities esp. townships close to tarvens and shebeens, violence happens almost every weekend and the kids are always there as curious onlookers. They see teenage boys stab each other who also witness grown up men shoot each other. And yet at the end of the day no one looks at the children and offer them trauma counselling.

Our schools have become a haven of violence from wounded and broken spirits who dont know better because they have not seen better …

As grown ups we have got to do better ..

And most important its time to take care of our children ..not only the ones we gave birth to

If we say it takes a village to raise a child ..we have got to start living this out!

There is a parent somewhere crying “umthwalo wam uyandisinda .. ndiyacela ndiphathise”

written by Nomveliso kaMbanga kaNguta, teencoach.

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Biological clock what? … … Huh?

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In my type of lifestyle .. you hear a lot of “women your age …blah blah blah” .. from why I should be in a serious relationship by now, to why I should be having kids to all sorts of stuff …

But can I just talk about my life’s purpose, the joy it brings me & how I sleep with a HUGE smile in my face each time I see a teen say “”oh now it makes sense MsVee, I hear you..” and putting together programmes that make sense.

Can we, at some point,talk about the value & power in living your life’s purpose ..can we? Coz in reality I will not date for the sake of dating nor have a child for the sake of having one ..if all that happen its a bonus to the life I am currently .. but for now I am about this purpose driven life in my lifetime!

So yes do not ask me how many babies I have given birth to yet ..

..rather ask me:

How many young lives I have impacted .. now that’s a conversation that will not only bring a huge smile on my face but will open rivers of happy inspiration on what I could do next to impact the youth of my country.

Do not judge me by your lifestyle choices / standards .. I am a First Lady unique in every form

A non-conformist at the best trying to rid myself of societal traps that seek to clone us to be images of each other.

*written by Nomveliso kaMbanga kaNguta*