Been trying to find the right angle to write this note .. its just hard. So let me just pour all my emotions on to this -_-
I find it highly annoying that in 2015 there are still men who feel the need to control seemingly ambitious and self driven women. Highly annoying because often their biggest challenge is that they feel they need to control this type of woman, a form of reeling her in so that she is controlled and acts like how a woman should act.
I totally dislike the way relationships are framed these days: where each partner seeks ways to control the other partner as much as they can and that is called love. From women giving out so called visas to men telling their women which hairstyle she should have; to deeper things where partner controls how the other grows financially in a relationship in order to curb one being intimidated by the other to some controlling each others career paths etc etc ..
I have been told so many things by so called men who love me, who often hold a “but..” Where most feel I would need to tone down a bit or this or that I would need a man who would know how to control me so that I am not too much or do too much. Whatever that means!
I knew my life’s purpose / mission at a very young age. I knew that my purpose is linked to me leaving this world a better place. That my existence means that I have a role to play in the world that would ensure that a baton gets passed from this generation to the next. So I knew that my purpose has to be priority, otherwise whats the point of being born, is it only to party n eat and die? Absolutely not!
So my ambition is NOT to compete with a man, nor am I living to intimidate men. I just understand that I only have this one lifetime to live out the purpose I was brought on earth for. I just refuse to settle for a man who will come into my life and cause me to forgo my life’s mission. Often when you don’t conform to society’s norm, you get pushed to write letters like this.
Also for me to fulfill my life’s purpose I have to be ME. I have to push against odds, I have to challenge myself, I have to evaluate the things society teaches us and I have to ask the Creator if that script is one I have to follow. My life’s purposes forces me to live my life in such a way that I cannot be a copycat of anyone. Otherwise I will not able to finish my life’s mission if I do so.
Often a lot of men seek to control women like me, they see us as a wild project that needs to be tamed. A woman that needs to a man so she tones down and start behaving like any other normal woman. Often these men do not love women like me but love the idea of being with a woman like me, as long as he can later control her and tame her. Often its the jealousy to want to own her, so that we belong to nobody else but him.
The error is that by design love in its purest form is not so restrictive. We have learned this wrong type of love that we keep teaching each other that we have grown to believe that love is to own and cage in, until one dances to the others tunes.
The way that purpose driven life is designed is in that one will be miserable and highly unhappy if they do not live out their purpose. So miserable will they be that they will make everyone around them miserable too. Because purpose driven life requires freedom and love in its purest form, for it to flourish.
The sad thing is this some of this unhappiness people have in their relationships has been defined to be the character of love and the character of true relationship. No one seems to question purpose of being and purpose of coming together ..
When all the kisses are done, all the sex is had and all the promises said ..why should we be in a relationship together? If its to control and cage me .. please pass I am not the woman for you!
And I will not be miserable because I went through this lifetime with no man by my side, but equally if I do get a partner .. it will be a bonus to partner with an equally purpose driven man, who understand his talents and that he needs to hone them, live his best life in this lifetime and not feel the need to gain his confidence feel purposeful by controlling the woman in his life!
It’s either you truly love an ambitious woman or you dont.
At the heart of every ambitious woman is a heart that want to give love and get love back in return. No gimmicks nor competition! Life made us this hard, the best you can do is us exchange life stories without one feeling like “my story is better than your”
The end! Venting done!
I have lived with my own company and I love(d) it!