You’ve got to be the bravest person that you know….!

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I figure at some point in your life you have to be thee strongest bravest person that you know, where there is no reliance on somebody else to be bigger or stronger or to be your hero. In a world where the entitlement syndrome seems to grip us like a rope around our necks, where we here corruption notes being hummed in every corner we go to, where to be unique is frowned upon because ‘how dare you to think you can be different than ‘us’.

In these instances, it’s where I am calling you to be the bravest, strongest young person you have ever known, where superheroes are not fictional characters but attainable entities whose souls beckons for yours to join suit.

To be brave enough to stand against the poverty / lack that has gripped your family for so long,

To be brave enough to stand against the pressure of joining a crowd that leads to nowhere

To be brave enough to understand the purpose of your life & pursue it whole heartedly

To be brave enough to say no to mediocrity ..

To be brave enough to not be afraid to map out your own path

To dare to try

Dare to push through against the odds

To dare to fail because in perceived failure you will learn your lessons ..

To dare to try … to start.. to dream .. to believe .. to be brave ..

This will solely be attained by understanding who you are, your character, and your aspirations. What do you believe in with all your heart? What would you like to see change in your community and if you had all the resources in the world, you would work on that? What innovation would you like to see in our country?

In the past weeks I watched a short story about a young person who started his own restaurant after working as a waiter for some time and is now attaining success in his field of choice. I applauded his bravery; I applauded his vision and not despising small beginnings. We have become accustomed to building up excuses as to why we cannot start that business, star t that course, leave that man/woman, leave for that overseas trip because deep down in our heart you believe you are not good enough, that you are not brave enough and you build in your heart a wall of fear .. a fear to fail and also a fear  of success ..

I dare you be the bravest person you have ever known.. and it started with the choices you will make today …

The Shadows that dance .. with violence against women

 

..  in an era with such high statistics of violence against women .. where it seems instead of things going down, they are escalating even more. What I find most incredible is that even your most educated of men are often the ones who create and perpetuate this cycle of violence.

 

What I find equally incredible ironic is that this violence against women has been & is done by men. In 5 women in a room there is a high chance that 3 of them have been either raped or molested at some point in their lives and some repeatedly so and not just one incident. Yet it seems men who are in relationships are ill prepared to date a woman who has been raped or molested. The somehow seem not to know what to do or what to say once they realise that their beloved lady they fell for has such a story.

 

Some of the mistakes most men make:

 

1. They assume their ladies tell them in order to seek pity from them.

2. They pull away and distant themselves as they just don’t know how to handle the ‘situation’.

3. They try talk this lady out of what they call “victim mentality” – the assumption is that for bringing up this story, probably they are feeling sorry for themselves.

4. They use this story in arguments when they can’t win – they throw this story back at the lady in the hope to get her to shut up and abort whatever argument they were having.

 

A couple of months back rape was hugely chastised in media and a call for men to do something about it .. the irony is that as much as most rapes & sexual molestation is done by males .. it seems the male themselves are ill prepared on how to handle, help or support a female who has been raped. So maybe the time males hear of lady being raped next door, in the news, all around them – they should carry a thought that this or that could be the mother of my children and life partner. Hopefully this thought will generate some action in their part.

 

I know its unfair to blanket all men in this but hopefully in order to converse.. most men will take this up and talk to each other for a change as eventually as some point as ladied … we will need a shoulder to cry on .. you can either turn a blind eye now … but as the African saying goes “unyawo alunampulo”.. no one can tell where one will let up tomorrow.

 

So I thought I will attempt to give some pointers on how men can handle this, but then realised I am not an expert so I will not try .. the hope is that this little note will generate some conversation .. and hopefully some people will give pointers on how best can a man handle the news when they first hear …another big thing as a lot of females stress themselves silly thinking when the right time will be to tell their new partners, should they tell, is their story to share or not share … long before the ordeal this ordeal continues.. in different forms as its shadows dances every now & then!

 

Uganda Calling .. ..

So I arrived in Uganda about two days ago, the weather is awesome and wonderfully hot and warm, a far crat to the cold weather I left behind in Cape Town.

The incredible part of about this trip is that I almost didn’t make through. A customs person in OR Tambo told me that my temp passport passed where to ‘few’ or there wasn’t space so there was high chance that I would be accepted in Uganda because there wouldn’t a space to stamp my trip. He advised me to not go through and as my heart was sinking into the pit of my stomach, I thought of all the arrangements I had made and all the hussles I had gone through to make this work, but then he said if you go through it will be at your own risk. That’s all I needed to hear. I am used to risk but more than risk I am used to faith, believing against all odds that possibilities also do exist even if reality says otherwise. So I checked my faith quota, knew that I will take this risk. So he stamped my passport and I went through. I then quickly sopoke to God or netter yet pleased and request that he assembles all my angels around.. I was going in J

 

I got to the other side, landed in Uganda presented my passport and voila..  nothing happened they verified my VISA and all was done. I thanked God and breathed in a huge sigh while smiling like the biggest fish in the pond.

Anyway I got to Uganda, lovely weather and lovely atmosphere, friendly and seemingly familiar faces.  Africa after all is home.  A friend of mine had requested one of her friends to take me along to their church, so that was also a lovely experience and also so familiar in terms of the songs. So far it’s been an incredible 3 days and the conference I am attending start tomorrow and I am looking forward to all the delegates and topics that will be discussed.

Hello Uganda!

Trip to Uganda – Preps like a First Lady

A couple of years back I went to a youth conference in Botswana and tried to work the networking scene and met a lot of interesting people. It was a conference that brought together a lot of young people from different African countries.

Its there that I met a lady who is a Director at Makerere University’s business school, quiet in nature so much I wasn’t sure if we will keep contact again. Lo and behold a couple of months back she emailed me with details of an International Leadership Conference that she will be hosting in Uganda. I was invited to hand in an abstract and those accepted would be part of the presenters at the conference.

After handing in everything and got chosen to attend and be one of the presenters, I am looking forward to my first trip to Uganda.

I chose to call myself First Lady a couple of years back and now ….I am looking forward to my address in an area I am very passionate about: youth development, empowering young women to lead.

Now I just need to know what to wear …